


Pain, Without Love

by LoveFandoms828



Series: Franklin Clinton x Lamar Davis [Framar] 💚 [36]
Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inner sadness, Inspired by Music, Killing himself, Lamar heard Franklin's voice, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Slightly Out Of Character, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Thinking about everything (especially him), [Although I tried to keep them in-character], [Just a bit], caused by overdose, implied/referenced drinking, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27752440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveFandoms828/pseuds/LoveFandoms828
Summary: After Franklin's death, Lamar is consumed by sadness. He was starting to realize that he can't live without him, not really anyway.
Relationships: Franklin Clinton & Lamar Davis, Franklin Clinton & Trevor Philips, Franklin Clinton/Lamar Davis, [a slight relationship is referenced between them]
Series: Franklin Clinton x Lamar Davis [Framar] 💚 [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1194852
Kudos: 3





	Pain, Without Love

**Author's Note:**

> 'Loving and fighting. Accusing, denying. I can't imagine a world with you gone. The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of. I'd be so lost if you left me alone.' 
> 
> ××××××××××××××××××××××××× 
> 
> I had thought of this awhile ago, so here's something angsty between these two, I hope that you all like reading it

That late evening was colder, darker than it has been in awhile. It'll be night, soon enough. 

It's like a bad dream, a nightmare that Lamar was in. That he couldn't escape from. 

Franklin had died, shot down by some guy, a criminal lowlife who was just mad at Trevor. He hadn't found him, so he killed Franklin instead. That guy had been killed by Trevor, after that, but it didn't take the pain away. Nothing did. Franklin wasn't around anymore. 

Lamar still went to Franklin's funeral (even if he didn't really want to, because of how he felt), but he just couldn't believe that he was dead and gone. It can't be true. For a second there, he thought that Franklin had faked his death, just to disappear for a while. Because of a crime that he had done. Just that he was laying low for a bit, but he would come back one day. 

That day would never come though, because Franklin wasn't alive anymore. Like they say, when all of this happens, denial is a part of grief. When you lose someone that you care about. They can't be replaced just like that. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It's been awhile since then, days later. Now Lamar was just by himself, for hours even. He couldn't get those thoughts off him. 

Lamar was at his place, with all the doors locked. He was in his room, it's dark in there. With that door shut as well. 

He was alone. Not wanting to be around anyone, not anymore. He was all by himself. That's how his life has been lately. 

His mind faded as he was thinking, being deep in his thoughts. All about Franklin, on him. He also closed his eyes, breathing quietly. 

If he was being honest, he thought that he would die before Franklin. Considering he was always acting reckless, basically looking for trouble, each and every time. Apparently not.

Why did Franklin have to die? He didn't deserve it. He deserved to live a long and happy life. With someone that he loves. Not this, not death. Anything but that.

Lamar was hurting badly, filled with sorrow. An inner sadness, empty and lonely. He was alone, without him. Without Franklin. He felt so sad, very much. He was by himself now. 

He felt like this again, just like that. Like he had before. When Franklin didn't talk to him or wasn't around for weeks. Although it was different, in a way. With Franklin dead and gone, disappeared from sight. No longer in his life. 

It made him think about what Trevor said to him once, he remembered it like yesterday. 

_"Don't miss Franklin like I miss Brad, alright?"_

_"Shit, I won't.. I mean, that is my nigga, but shit, when he gone, he gone..."_

_"I mean, don't get in the situation where you have to miss him. Look out for him. Stick together."_

Although that was a lie, when he said that he wouldn't miss him. When Franklin was gone. That really had been a lie. Because he does miss Franklin, a lot actually. He hadn't been there for him, like he said that he would ethier. 

Knowing this hurt him too. That he wasn't there for Franklin in his last hour alive. He had left him alone, the guy that he actually really cared for. 

Lamar kept his eyes tightly shut, a bit. He was about to cry, honestly, as there were slight tears in those dark shaded eyes (when he had opened them). He opens his eyes once more, after feeling how his heart ached, really hurting inside. He breathed again, heavily now. 

He was still lying on his back and on that bed. While he was staring at the ceiling. He snapped out of it. Out of these thoughts. He had to get his mind off him. 

Lamar gazed over, noticing something. He noticed that it was night, dark and cold out there, once more. That moonlight illuminated everything, for a bit. Especially him, in a dim lighting. 

He gets off there, out of bed. Just to shut those curtains, so that this room was a bit darker now. He walked out of there, to the refrigerator, to grab a pack of cold beers. 

Then he headed back into his room, closing the door behind himself. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Lamar drank some of those beers. He was drinking them down, until they were empty. He was taking a few pills too. Until that bottle was halfway gone. He puts it down at the nightstand, instead of in the drawer. 

He had sat down, while he was getting drunk, putting these beer bottles on the ground (once they are empty). He had his last beer, then he was falling into more thoughts after that. 

Lamar was laying down, once again, on his bed now. Just like last time. He felt cold, not warm at all. It was a feeling that was causing him to act strange. To feel out of it. Especially from the intoxication. 

That sadness almost consumed him. He was thinking about him again. His heart was aching now, just like earlier. It lasted longer than ever before, with such an inner pain that he can't take it anymore. Now he was breathing in an uneven way as heartbeat was not so calm. 

He was unable to think about anything else, other than him, of everything. It all made him feel sad. 

Slowly, he started crying, tears falling down from his eyes. These thoughts caused this and because of that alcohol, since he was intoxicated. 

That's when he decided on something. To end it all. Since he knew something, deep down within himself, knowing that he can't live without him. 

Lamar sat upwards, just slightly. He was in his thoughts, in his mind again now, for a bit. He grabbed that bottle of pills, taking the rest of them. He knows that those pills for sleeping could cause someone to overdose if taken too much. He didn't care anymore. 

He threw it away, after there were no more pills in the bottle, then he grabbed a beer. It was still only half empty, after all. He gripped onto that bottle as he drank it all down, while he swallowed the pills too. He was throwing that beer bottle down after all this. He threw it on the ground, with the rest of those empty bottles. He just had to wait now. 

Everything felt peaceful now. In that silence, during this quiet night. His breathing was the only thing that was breathing the silence. 

Lamar was still sitting down there, on the end of his bed. He was thinking about it. Ending his life, just to be with Franklin again. 

Now he had these thoughts in his mind. It almost faded out as he heard a familiar, low voice once again. Naturally, of Franklin's. It was him, even if he wasn't really there. 

_"You're going to get yourself killed, fool."_

"You always said that, usually it's true." 

_"Well, I mean it. You always act this way. You have been lately, at least. I know so. Don't think like that. You're alright, dawg. Everything will be okay.. Lamar, don't.."_

"It's alright, Franklin, you don't have to worry about it. You're not even here anymore. Not there for me now. But it's okay. I thought about it. I don't think that I can be without you, not anymore. I can't take it. I can't live without you.. I want to be with you, where you are. I'II be with you again, soon enough.." Lamar said, quietly

It was like Lamar could almost feel Franklin there with him. He can sense him. He could just imagine that Franklin had frowned at what he said. He knew that Franklin was gone, he had 'disappeared' from his sight. 

But it's alright, everything was okay. Because he would be with him again. 

Lamar was lying there, on his back and on that bed now. Just like when he was thinking about him, staring into nothingness. He listened to the sound of his own heartbeat and breathing. 

He felt at peace again. It lasted awhile, a bit longer than ever. He closed his eyes, silently. He breathed calmly. Quietly even. He was falling asleep, slipping away, slowly. In a peaceful way. His mind was just as silent and quiet. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know that there was supposed to be an option for Franklin to die in the game, but it got cut out, honestly I'm glad it did. I can't really imagine him dying, nor would I even like it. I can't even watch the other deaths in the game (Trevor's and Michael's, is what I'm talking about) so you know xD 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading this 💙


End file.
